The Sunflower Teen's Blog
by Calina Moscow Braginski
Summary: Because she wishes to have new friends, Moscow has started a blog! Everyone will be one with her, so try to stay on her good side. Watch as she avoids her family, abuses the Baltics, and plots world domination. This is my first fic ever, so please be nice. Reviewers will be given power in the new Russian Federation and a hug from Moscow.
1. New Friends!

_Guests are italics_

Moscow is normal

**Welcome to Moscow's Blog**

**Blog Post Number: One**

**You are visitor number: One**

**Location: Big Brother's house, my room**

**Subject: Become one wi- I mean be my friend!**

Здравствуйте, мои новые друзья! My name is Moscow, the capital of Russia! Since you are now my friend, you can call me Calina, da. I have never had a friend before (My family is the only people who can talk to me without crying) but I have learned that the internet is a great way to meet new people without really 'meeting' them. *shrug* I will give it a try; if this does not work I can always just drag Vilnius the mall with me, da ^_^

Because you are my new friend, I will tell you some things about me!

Full name: Calina Anastasia Braginski or Moscow

Gender (for all you American idiots out there that do not know Calina is a girl's name): I am indeed a girl

Height: 190.5 cm

Weight: I have not checked in a while but I weigh less that fat ass Washington DC, I know that

Age: I lost count of my real age, but my human age is fifteen

Eyes: Violet

Hair: Ashen blonde that goes down to about the middle of my back

If you would like to know, I do not really smile. It usually makes people cry faster. I only smile when I am nervous or when I want to creep people out. It is quite funny watching people tremble in their boots~

Family: Big Brother Russia, Aunt Ukraine, Aunt Belarus, Cousin Kiev, and Cousin Minsk (he's scary…I am quite certain he is watching me as I type)

_Hello Cousin, I saw you were talking about me._

GAH! Oh, h-hello there M-M-Minsk. I did not know you were here…right behind me….in my room…without blinking *small smile*. What are you doing here, dear cousin?

_I just came to see you. Why are you calling these horrible people reading this your friends? Am I not your friend?_

W-w-well of course y-you are my f-f-friend. *mumbles* you just will not let me talk to anyone else…..

_What was that little cousin?_

N-nothing! Ummm, I believe I h-hear Kiev breas-I mean footsteps in t-the hallway. How a-about you talk to h-her while I finish this b-blog, da. Is t-that all right?

_I guess so. I will be right back._

*Door shuts* phew, that was close. *takes a swig of vodka* you did not see that. This is water, not Big Brother's vodka that I 'borrowed'. Water *takes another sip*. *sigh* Cousin Minsk is going to give me a heart attack one of these days. Every time I turn around BLAM, he is right there. Once I was walking around my house at night, I turned a corner, and all I saw were Cousin's eyes! They were glowing like a cat's! I screamed like DC playing Slender and dropped the vase of sunflowers I was carrying. Then he just walked over, threw away the broken glass and sunflowers, and walked away like nothing had happened! I was so terrified!

*Chugs the rest of the bottle* I better finish this blog post before Cousin gets back. *Glances at the door* he broke the lock again….


	2. This is how I die

(All cussing will be done in Russia. Don't like swearing, don't translate. I own nothing :3)

**Welcome to Moscow's Blog!**

**You Are Visitor Number: 16**

**Blog Post Number: 2**

**Location: My closet**

**Mood: scared as ****чертов**** hell**

**Listening to: Minsk searching for me**

**Reading: These comments**

**Watching: My life flash before my eyes**

**Eating: Does vodka count as food?**

**Drinking: Vodka :3**

**Subject: This is how I die**

Здравствуйте, мои новые друзья! One of my new friends is going to die. By. My. Own. Hand. I will find where you live and beat you to death with a crowbar. I WILL FIND YOU! For all of my friends who do not know what I am talking about, apparently some absolute чертов idiot found my blog. He decided that the smartest thing to do after reading it was to TELL MY COUSIN THAT I WAS HIS GIRLFRIEND! Does that moron want to die! I did not even know about this until this morning. I was sitting in my room, minding my own business, when all of a sudden my door flew off its hinges! I jumped a foot in the air and turned around to see Cousin standing in the doorway with a huge knife! He started demanding who was my boyfriend, but I did not know what he was talking about. Cousin explained that a human texted him, (I still do not know how the human got Minsk's number) telling him that I was his girlfriend. I then proceeded to run out of my room like the Mr. Italy while Cousin chased me with knives. And now I am fearing for my life, while hiding in a closet. *Holds head in hands* I need more vodka….

…

**Comments:**

**StorfenglegurStelpa21:**

**This is your first fic? Congrats! Am I your first review?**

This is really funny! Nice Russian in the beginning, by the way.

I just started my first fic too, so I know how you feel.

Keep writing! :D

**Ответ**** (Response):**

Da, you are indeed my first reviewer ^_^

I am glad you think I am funny, although I do not see what is funny about my cousin terrifying me…

I like speaking my native language

I read your fic, it was quite enjoyable~

Прощайте друг!

**RandomSpazz-chan:**

**Aloha, Moscow! Name's Soni! O-oh, and sorry if I get a little annoying. *Sweatdrop***

*Reads summary* You offer hugs? *Spreads arms out* Spreadin the love- wait, power in the Russian Federation? O.o"

You need friends? Friendship's my middle name! :3

Dudette... you're cute! Like a little kitty! I couldn't resist letting that out!

Vodka... right...

Is a kantana too drastic to help out with your stalking bro? *Takes out kantana* ."

Meh, that's all I got! Sayonara! :D

**Ответ****:**

Hello! No, you are not annoying ^_^

I would love a hug! *Gives RandomSpazz-chan a huge bear hug* Would you like a seat of power? Big Brother promised to let me hire some workers for when the world becomes one with us. I could give you an influential job if you want to~

O-oh, thank you for the complement. I like kitties *blushes*

It is water, not vodka

I do not wish to kill Minsk; I just want him to leave me alone. I do not think a kantana could achieve that goal.

Прощайте друг!

**TheColdCapita-Moscow:**

hello myself i saw that you where looking for friends so i want to be your friend (ω) i hope its not to weird or anything also i see you have yourself a "Belarus" i feel sorry for you ( ;ω) well i really dont have anymore to say but good lucky with the friend finding bye ( ω)/

**Ответ****:**

Hello…..male me…. *shrug* I have seen odder

I feel sorry for myself right now….

Thank you for being my friend, me!

Прощайте друг!


	3. Minsk is here, help me

_Guests are Italic_

Moscow is normal

**Welcome to Moscow's Blog!**

**You Are Visitor Number: 24**

**Blog Post Number: 3**

**Location: My room….with Cousin glaring over my shoulder**

**Mood: Quite nervous**

**Listening to: My heartbeat**

**Reading: These comments **

**Watching: Cousin, to make sure he does not whip out anymore knives**

**Eating: Borscht **

**Drinking: …..water**

**Subject: *Sigh* I am still in hot water**

Здравствуйте, мои новые друзья! Cousin is here with me today. Please help me.

_Hello there, Cousin Moscow's "friend"._

*Nervous whine* Please be nice to them. They have done nothing to spite you.

_I believe they already have *glare*._

*Smile* P-please do not hurt them. Only that one moron has done anything.

_We shall see about that *Touches knife that is hidden in his sleeve*._

*Getting really scared* Ummm, I doubt that there is any way I can ask you to leave so that I can reply to my reviews.

_No, there is not._

*Sigh* Alright, we can do them together.

_This will not be the last thing we do together._

*Truly terrified* L-l-let us just begin a-already.

_Yes, we shall_

*Nervous squeak*

…

**Comments:**

**StorfenglegurStelpa21:**

**Oh, I didn't know you posted the comments on here... heh...**

**So, anyway, I'm sorry about your cousin being so scary!**

**And... um...**

**I have a hammer if you need to borrow one to hit that idiot! His name is Auðun. My hammer, not the person.**

**Bless bless!**

**Ответ****:**

Da, I do post comments ^_^

_Do you really think I am scary, Little Cousin?_

*Eyes grow wide* W-well…when you…ummm…chase me with…knives…da…I do

_If you do not run away, I would not have to chase you_

D-d-d-d-d-d-d-a

_Do not worry about that idiot, he will be found soon and given a slow and painful death. No one can claim Little Cousin except for me._

*Whispers* I would like to borrow Auðun.

_Why would you want that puny little tool, when I can defend you against anything?_

Well….I would not use it to knock you out with….. that would be the crazy talk *smile*

Прощайте друг!

**TheColdCapita-Moscow:**

**im female not male. also what was that about the power in the Russia Federation thing? could i be a part of it? i would love to rule the world with you and finally ki- i mean crush America and you're welcome**

**Ответ****:**

Oh, sorry. I thought you were the male version of myself. I am more confused now. Are we clones or something?

_THERE ARE TWO LITTLE COUSINS!_

A-apparently…

_I could use this to my advantage *dashes out the door*_

Run. Run now. RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!

_*Comes back with a terrified __TheColdCapita-Moscow* I think you are clones. You two look exactly alike. _

*Eyes widen* BRING HER BACK TO HER HOUSE! Why did you do that!

_*Ignores the question* Whatever you say Little Cousin. *walks out the door*_

*Chugs half a bottle of vodka* *Mumbles* I finally have a friend and that's what Cousin does. Kidnaps her. Why am I not that surprised?

_*Pops up behind Moscow* I am back. _

GAH! *sigh* thank you…I think…

Прощайте друг! I am sorry if you are now emotionally scared.

**RandomSpazz-chan:**

**Oh good! *Sweatdrop***

**E-ehh... thanks, but... no thanks? *Wierded out*... thanks for the bear hug, though!**

**Yeah... *Sarcasm***

**I figured I got a little carried away with that, anyways... :P**

**Bah-bai!**

**Ответ****:**

I thought everyone wanted power. I guess I am wrong.

_You gave this filthy human a HUG!_

W-well…da…but-

_*Charges out the door*_

Oh, god! Soni, run! Run if you want to live! I am so sorry! THIS IS WHY I CANNOT HAVE FRIENDS! *Chases after Minsk* COUSIN! I DO NOT HAVE ANY FEELINGS FOR SONI! PLEASE DO NOT KILL HER! SHE IS ONLY MY FRIEND, NOTHING ELSE!


	4. A day with the Baltics

(The authoress owns nothing, so don't sue me :3)

Moscow is normal

Riga

_Tallinn_

_Vilnius _

**Welcome to Moscow's Blog!**

**You Are Visitor Number: 32**

**Blog Post Number: 4**

**Location: The Baltic's house**

**Mood: Very cheerful ^_^**

**Listening to: Riga tremble in the background**

**Reading: Tallinn is reading a book but I do not understand the words**

**Watching: The atmosphere thicken **

**Eating: Vilnius's hea- just kidding ^_^**

**Drinking: Big Brother took all of Mr. Lithuania's vodka**

**Subject: Big Brother is hiding from Aunt Belarus**

Здравствуйте, мои новые друзья! I am going to have much fun today! Aunt Belarus tried to marry Big Brother again, so now we are hiding in the Baltic's house! I am so happy ^_^. I have not seen my little scared friends in such a long time, right Vilnius!

_Y-y-yeah, we h-haven't "hung o-out" in a w-while. _

And now you get to help me reply to all of my internet friends *creepy smile*

_*Starts shaking* Ummmm, y-yeah… *whispers* Tallinn, help me_

_*Looks up from book* It's your turn to put up with Moscow. I had to last time._

_Riga….Please…_

W-wah! Hell n-no! 

Vilnius, what do you want help with *aura starts rising*

_A-a-a-a-a-a-ah….Riga! Don't you have something to tell Moscow! *Pushes the still trembling Riga next to Moscow* *Runs away*_

Vilnius! Get b-back h-here!

Why hello there Riga! You have something to tell me, da *smile widens*

*Starts trembling uncontrollably*

*Puts hand on Riga's head* You are shaking so much. You could make a milkshake just by holding ice cream and milk in a cup ^_^

U-u-ummmm I g-guess s-so….

Good, then go make me a milkshake. But use vodka instead of milk. That will not be a problem, da. *aura gets darker*

*Eyes widen in fear* Y-yes! I can do that! 

Good *Throws him out the bed room door*. Now where was I….

_*Holds book closer to face* _

…

**Comments:**

**StorfenglegurStelpa21:**

**Oh, hallo, Minsk... I, um... I'm glad to see that you're doing well... *shivers***

Sorry, Moscow, Auðun was removed from my ownership. I may have slightly gone overboard with the threatening of my brother and his irritating friends, and now Auðun is no more. It's okay, just hang on!

**Ответ****:**

I am sorry to hear about Auðun. He sounded like a good hammer. If you need any help with your brother and his friends, I can help in any way possible ^_^

_*Looks up from book* *Mutters to herself* It's best I keep out of this_

I have chloroform, if you want to borrow it. It is the best way to subdue enemies without causing them pain, da!

_*Starts trembling* _

I also have a crowbar. I believe that works the best. *aura rises*

_*Slowly starts inching away from Moscow*_

Прощайте друг!

**TheColdCapita-Moscow:**

***shivering a little* o-ok t-t-that was a-as bad as having B-Belarus coming after me... and now im over it. well something good came out of that; i got to see Russia and your room. its nice, also tell your cousin next time he tries to kidnap me i will be ready.**

**Ответ****:**

I am terribly sorry for the way my cousin acted. He usually does not kidnap people…usually.

_*Whispers to Tallinn* Is it safe to come back yet._

There you are! I was wondering where you went off to! *walks over to Vilnius* *picks him up like a baby* *sets him on her lap* There, now you cannot go anywhere! ^_^

_*whimpers and starts shaking*_

_*Doesn't bother looking up from book* No, it isn't yet_

Do not worry clone me, hopefully Cousin will not abduct anymore of my friends.

_W-what did Minsk d-do?_

Kidnap my clone ^_^

_O-oh *sarcastically* is t-that all…._

Прощайте друг!

**RandomSpazz-chan:**

**... woah...**

... anyways, I do NOT run from a fight! *Takes out my kantana* Tell your bro it's on like Donkey Kong! FEAR MY AWESOMENESS!

... darn it. Prussia's bragging is getting to me. Curse his awesomeness...

... Oh yeah, right... BRING IT ON!

**Ответ****:**

I believe Cousin is still looking for you. Do not let that kantana leave your side. In time we shall see your sword skills

_So that's where Minsk is…_

_From the sounds of it, this may turn into a game of Super Smash Bros_

_I'd p-place my b-bets on Minsk_

Прощайте друг!

**Guest:**

**O-O... OO i like you, you seem fun and crazy like me *creepy smile***

**Ответ****:**

_*Crosses fingers and chants* Please don't let there be three Moscows. Please don't let there be three Moscows. PLEASE don't let there be three Moscows._

I see I have made a new friend. Would you like to hang out with me sometime?

_Please, Please, PLEASE!_

Прощайте друг!

**Washington D.C: **

**To the Niece of the Commie: I knew I should've told Dad to drop a nuke on you when I had a chance! I AM NOT A FAT ASS! I just happen to like food that has a lot of fat in it, you drunk wench!**

- George W. Jones, aka Washington, District of Columbia

**Ответ****:**

Stay away from my blog before I beat your face in with a crowbar. You are fat. I never get drunk. I hate you with all of my being. Go away.

_*Slowly leaves the room*_


	5. Kill Me Now

(Me. Own. NOTHING. Don't sue, I'm broke)

_Guests are italics_

Moscow is normal

**Welcome to Moscow's Blog!**

**You Are Visitor Number: 42**

**Blog Post Number: 5**

**Location: My room**

**Mood: Suffering**

**Listening to: The demons in my head telling me to kill**

**Reading: The blood stained letters on my wall**

**Watching: My life being sucked into a black hole**

**Eating: The rest of my sanity**

**Drinking: I ran out of vodka about an hour ago**

**Subject: PLEASE kill me**

Please kill me. It would be doing me a favor. I would not mind it at all. Please, please, PLEASE kill me.

_Washington DC- Geez Mossy, calm down. There's no reason to get your bra in a bunch._

*Icy glare* What. Did. You. Just. Call. Me. *Aura starts rising*

_*Pinches Moscow's cheek* It's your new nickname, dude! Isn't it awesome!_

*Bites DC's finger* kolkolkolklkolkolkolkolkolko l

_*Shakes his hand in pain* Hey dude! So not cool!_

*Still koling* Get out of myчертов house.

_Hahahaha! No way dude! Your creepy ass bro and my dad are doing some political shit, or something. I'm staying right here! *Jumps on Moscow's bed*_

*Buries hands in face* Мне нужно больше водки...

_*Gets up and waves hand in front of Moscow's face* Heeeelllloooooo~ I don't speak freaky-deaky Russian. What did ya say, dude._

*Glares through fingers* I said I want to see your blood covering the walls and my hands while your body lies slumped against a wall with your intestines wrapped around your neck.

_Hahahahahaha! You could never do that! You love me too much! *Slaps Moscow roughly on the back*_

*Punches him in the face* How about you go see what your capitalist father is doing, da. Kolkolkolkolkol

_*Rubs face* Ummm, yeah, I guess I can do that. *Jumps up on bed and does a hero pose* THE HERO SHALL RETURN! *Pretends to fly out the door*_

*Massages temples* Why me? What have I done to deserve this? I swear, sometimes Cousin is better to hang out with this than that Ебля Американский мудак…

…

**Comments:**

**StorfenglegurStelpa21:**

**Sæll again, Moscow!**

Where did you get chloroform? I hear it's pretty expensive.

AND a crowbar? Wow!

Hi, Tallinn, having fun with Moscow?

Of course you are.

**Ответ****:**

I know many people~

It can get quite pricey if you do not buy if correctly. For example; actually buying it. Tallinn has gotten very good at making it ^_^

Of course Tallinn had a fun time with me! He just loves to play with me~

Прощайте друг!

**Alaska F. Braginski:**

**Hello, Auntie.  
Wow that made you sound like an old lady, da?**

Soo yeah I suppose you are my aunt or second cousin or something? I don't know...

Watching you hide from Minsk is very fun and amusing.

Feel free to come and visit anytime you like!

Alaska

**Ответ****:**

Privet Alaska! I have not heard from you in such a long time!

*Pout* Do not make me feel old. I am only, ummm, about a few hundred years old. I lost count. You can call me Cousin if you want. We are the same age (externally) after all.

I do not find it that amusing…

Can I come over right now! I need to leave before your чертов brother gets back.

_*In a very annoying singsong voice* I'm baaaaack!_

*Facepalm* Speak of the devil…..

*Sigh* Прощайте друг!

**RandomSpazz-chan:**

**Sweet! Capital Baltics! Hey, guys! :D**

No worries, Moscow! I'll keep my defense by my side!

Super Smash Bros. Brawl? Does this make Minsk a Pikachu? *Badum ching!*

Hmm... might as well lighten the mood here: you like My Little Pony, Moscow? If not, you should watch it! It's AWESOME!

Well, Hastalapasta!

**Ответ****:**

*Truly confused* Why would that make Cousin a Pikachu?

_Well you see-_

*Hits DC in the face with a book* I DO NOT CARE!

_Oh my god…..YOU SOUND JUST LIKE PEWDIEPIE! *starts jumping up and down*_

Who is pew-die-pie?

_No dude, PewDiePie. You know…. that Swedish gamer dude that is fucking awesome._

I still have no clue what you are talking about

_You know, BARRELS!_

*puzzled*

_Chair mode activate, BOOP_

How can you become a chair?

_How's it going bros!_

Well you are telling me what a pew-die-pie is…

_Teleporting naked men!_

If you do start making sense soon I will punch you again. Kolkolkolkolkol

_For fuck's sak-_

*Clocks DC with a crowbar* I swear, it was like he was speaking Swedish…

Прощайте друг!


End file.
